Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Everything I know about the NBA in 150 words; written by a bandwagon fan

Is this still relevant? Because if not I can do this in under 100 words.


I liked Michael Jordan and have his #23 Chicago Bulls jersey from when I was a kid.

I had a Toronto Raptor's Starter Jacket as a kid... I don't for the life of me know why.

I hate Kobe Bryant and Lebron James because Kobe doesn't know the meaning of "no means no" and Lebron = Judas.

I like Shaq because of Shaq Versus.

The Cleveland Cavaliers and Washington Wizards suck.

I like John Wall’s dance and I know he played for Kentucky because, as a WVU fan, I hated him. We're cool now.

I know the name Dwyane Wade thanks to Jay Z’s song, Empire State of Mind. The playoffs have taught me he is a guard for the Miami Heat.

Former Pitt Panthers' player, Sam Young, plays for the Memphis Grizzlies.

Kobe Bryant plays for the Lakers.

I can correctly pair almost all the NBA teams with their appropriate cities.


That’s it. That’s all I’ve got. 150 words. I can’t tell you one single other thing about the NBA.

Don’t get me wrong, I know a ton about basketball and I’m a rabid college hoops fan, but after college I completely lose interest as players either get drafted into the NBA or fade into obscurity.

With these things in mind, I’m jumping on board the NBA playoffs bandwagon for the first time in my life. Last year, I watched the final NBA Championship game and that’s it. This year, I’ve watched a handful of games already including last night’s OT victory of the Heat over the Celtics and the triple OT victory of the Thunder over the Grizzlies. I just can’t bring myself to not watch a close sports game.

Two years ago, I decided I should adopt an NBA team for the novelty of it. Since I live in Washington, DC, I decided to go with the Washington Wizards. I’ve only been to 2 NBA games in my life: Wizards vs Detroit Pistons and Wizards vs Milwaukee Bucks. And I mean, I met the Wizards’ mascot, the G-man, and he’s pretty cool... so they've got that going for them... which is nice.

I figure I can lump them in with my Pittsburgh Pirates in the “bless their heart” category of teams. Also, this way, if the Wizards get good one day, no one can accuse me of just bandwagoning with the good team. Oh no... No, I’ll bandwagon with one of the worst and ninja my way in as a fan while no one is looking.

But, since the Wizards aren't in the playoffs and I’m trying to get into the NBA action, I’ve also decided to bandwagon temporarily with the Celtics and Grizzlies as my “backup” teams to the Wizards. I went to Boston University, so I figure that gives me enough credit to qualify as a half-assed Celtics fan. I’m a huge Pitt Panthers’ fan and their former player, Sam Young, plays for the Grizzlies. In the same vein I cheer for Ohio State solely because and while Terrelle Pryor (from my hometown of Jeannette) plays for them, I will cheer for the Grizzlies because of Sam Young. If both those teams get knocked out, I'll be cheering for Team-Anyone-But-Miami-Heat.

Now, behold, as I make a concerted effort to join the ranks of NBA fans. I’ve clearly got a way to go. Go Celtics and Go Grizzlies!

1 comment:

  1. One day, mark my words, our Pirates will come out of the "Bless Their Heart" categories and win us a World Series again like they did in the 70's.

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